The Spitz Family

2006-03-21T06:44:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends and Family:

In loving memory of Gary, we are compiling a book of our fondest memories. this book will serve as a keepsake to keep Gary forever in each of our lives. Kindly take a few minutes to reflect upon your fondest memory or memories and submit on this blog.

Additionally, we have been in primilary discussion about setting up a foundation in Gary's memory and will be working on this very shortly. Stay tuned.

Jeff

2006-03-20T22:10:00.000-05:00

Some have asked to see the eulogy I had written for dad, so here it is...

There is no way that I could stand up here and give the speech that my Dad would want for his funeral because first and foremost I don’t use that kind of language, but, I know that if dad was here, he would look out at all of you and say something like… What the hell are all of you putz’s doing here? Lets get the hell out of here and go to Green Hills.

Everyone in this room knew Gary. Some knew him as husband, dad, brother, grandfather, uncle, cousin, colleague, or friend. Still others knew him as, The man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Wonderfuckingful or even Jesus. As a close family friend recently said about dad, you either love to hate him or hate to love him, but there is no in between, its just good that more people loved him. I mean how many people in this room did he tell to go screw yourselves and you actually loved him for it. That was my dad and while there were many good times and also many bad and difficult times, with his passing it seems only the good times and special memories that are worth remembering and sharing today as we say our goodbyes.

My dad’s love of family started in his childhood in Schenectady, NY with his parents Irving and Cecil, his young sister Annie and his cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends. I remember him talking so fondly and so often of his wonderful times growing up, especially his summers in Lake Luzerne. I know that they instilled in my dad his love of close family and community, ties that he carried with him when he started his own family and life in Harrisburg.

Growing up dad worked in his family laundry business which no doubt started his life long passion for doing the laundry. It’s still amazing to me that even up until a few weeks ago we were finding loads of laundry where he still couldn’t figure out that mixing colors and whites made pink underwear.

We fast forward a bit and for anyone who doesn’t know the story of how dad met mom, he went on a trip to Harcum College to visit a close friend who happened to be mom’s roommate. There was an instant attraction. They dated for a while, and after a brief stint in Korea, he returned to marry Mom as he wanted to get some schtuppie and needed the chuppie to do so. As the story goes my dad walked to the back of my grandfather, Joe Stein’s, grocery store to ask for her hand. Pop was in an apron covered in blood cutting up meat with a long, sharp cleaver in his hand. While dad had visions of the cleaver coming towards him, he still had the courage to get Joe’s permission and dad and mom were married in 1960, eventually settling in Harrisburg in 1962.

Dad started his professional career in the dress factory business and became partners with mom’s brothers Herb and eventually Paul at the East Berlin Garment Factory. I could only imagine what it was like to work with my father. I’m sure it was a delight because he was such a patient, easy going man who rarely spoke his mind, mostly held his tongue, and spoke in an almost quiet whisper.

After getting out of the garment business and with dads being a long time member of the Jewish Community, in 1991 he became executive director of the JCC until he retired in 1997. During his tenure his love of the community really became evident and he spent many a day meeting new families, helping to raise children of families he had known for years, and worked to improve the Jewish Community, all the while with a laugh, joke, smart ass comment or witty remark. Even though he wasn’t the father to these kids, many saw him as a father figure and role model. It gave him such immense pleasure and joy. He was so proud to watch these kids and families grow up, it was as if they were his own.
Dad was looking forward to retiring after the JCC, but Charlotte stepped in and told him that there was absolutely no way that they could spend that much time together without killing one another and that he needed to get out of the house and get back to work. He then went to work at the Pennsylvania Housing Finance Association, where he took pride in the work that he did and continued to touch the lives of so many, so many who have shared their stories via the blog and who are here today to honor him.

Some things you need to know about my dad: He loved to fix things and work on projects, many that took place at my home, many which resulted in a professional coming in to fix the projects that he previously fixed. For example, we had purchased a new grill which he couldn’t wait to come up and put together for us. He spent the better part of the day putting it together and when he was done he presented us with the grill and a box of parts that he labeled as “Extra and not necessary”. Lets just say that the new grill we bought the following year came fully assembled. You also need to know that dad enjoyed the pool at Green Hills, gambling, going to Aruba or a beach, doing yard work, and our cruises together. His other loves included: scratching his balls, picking zits, smoking cigarettes, farting and taking major poops and getting massages from anyone that would give. His grandchildren were on to their pop-pop about the massages and charged him a few bucks for every one. Nicole especially has earned enough money to pay for her college tuition.

When I think of my dad, I think of his life in three areas: Community, Friends, and family. There is no doubt that dad belonged to Harrisburg, especially the Jewish community. He was a business owner, commissioner of the first ward, director of the JCC, active with the Jewish home, Mayor of Green hills, member and for a time organizer of the Chevar Kadisha (which is the holy society that prepares a Jewish male for burial in accordance with the Jewish laws and traditions), he was also a board member and second head usher, but head gossiper, here at Kesher Israel. In fact, at each high holiday, you could expect that when you walked into those very doors you would be greeted by dad with a big smile and usually a one liner that made you laugh, but gave you a sense of comfort. However, you would never see him actually praying, but more likely walking around schmoozing, chatting and laughing. In fact, I think the Rabbi could tell you that on more than one occasion he had to ask Gary to be a little quieter, to which I think my dad might have given him some directions on where he could go?

As for friends, Every friend of dads in this room I’m sure has at least one favorite Gary story; however, probably 95% of these are inappropriate to tell in a synagogue. But Dad knew how so many of you felt about him and commented on how fortunate he was to have had so many people ‘euologize’ him while he was still alive, most recently at his 70th birthday celebration, but also at his retirement party from the JCC. While we know that many of you wanted to get up here and say something today, we hope that you will share your memories with Mom and our family, as this keeps my dad alive in everyone’s heart.

In thinking about dad, If he liked you, he loved you and would do anything for you. You would still get a sarcastic or busting remark, but the deep care and concern always came through. Once you figured dad out, you knew that behind his joking but non apologetic tell-it-like-it-is style was love and compassion, that he would give you the shirt off his back and would be there in an instant. Dad always had a nickname for everyone and a way of connecting with people where you felt you were the most special person to him. This became especially apparent over the past few weeks with the outpouring of support and love shown to him and our family via the computer blog, telephone messages and cards. I look around the room to see so many faces that truly loved dad and this touches and amazes our family so deeply.

Above all dad cherished his family. While, as in life, there were good times and bad times, he did care and only wanted the best for all of us. Towards the end, dad and I were able to talk one on one and he was able to express how much he loved his family. He loved his grandchildren, Zack, Coley, Hannah, Max, Erica and Dean beyond what words can say, just being with them, hearing their day to day stories, hugging and kissing them, getting to watch them play sports, their putting their heads on his lap, or their confiding in him and telling him what was going on in their lives meant the absolute world to him.

He adored his younger sister Annie and brother-in-law Lester. He would look so forward to meeting up with them at our home, and be able to spend weekends together, especially when she brought those Italian cookies with almonds, by the way that Mom didn’t want him to eat, but he snuck anyway kicking off a major bout of dyberticulitis of which our bathroom has never been the same. However back to Annie, He always wanted to make sure she was ok and appreciated her more than she might know, especially because of how she took care of their mother during her last days.

He loved Herbie and Harriet, probably more so after they stopped working together, but spent many a year side by side running a business and making a living for their families.

He cared for Uncle Paul so much that he would bust his chops any opportunity he could get. He was also so concerned about Pam, Aaron, Hillary and Maddie after Paul passed and made sure they were ok. Like Pam, he knew first hand the joys of marrying into the Stein family and always felt he had that bond with her.

Paula- he loved her so much. The both of them were similar in so many ways, especially the take charge and get things done attitude. He always knew he could count on her and admired her so much. During the last few days he commented on how special she is and what an amazing person she is. However, I know my dad still thought she was such a chazer and hated going to Atlantic City with her, she just cost him too much money.

With Beau- there is no question that he was Dad’s fourth son and at least tied for favorite daughter in law. Dad so enjoyed the time at our home in the country, working on projects, mowing our lawn, cleaning our workshop, napping on the porch, going to Kutsher’s to see some shows, or grilling up steaks and just staying at home . You know, I credit Beau with how strong my relationship had become with my dad. After seeing how strong his relationship was with his mom, I wanted the same. It was also so important to me that he and my parents got along and it couldn’t have turned out any better.

Mark: In so many ways he and dad were the most similar and he had a bond that went beyond words. He would comment on how proud he was of Mark’s accomplishments and how he really wanted his happiness.

With Harriet, the last few weeks had met so much to dad and he was touched on how much she started opening up and sharing. I don’t think there could have been a bigger gift she could have given to him.

With Larry: Dad was a pillar of strength for Larry, a rock that was there to solve any problem, offer advise and try to push him to achieve. It’s all about love. And while he never stopped worrying about Larry, there is no way he could deny how much he loved him.

Dad’s loving and doting wife Charlotte, my mom: Anyone who saw my parents together, affectionately called The Bickersons, knew that they cared tremendously for one another. Dad told me numerous times how he was the luckiest man on this earth to have her for his wife, that through the good and bad times, the ups and the downs, she was always by his side. Towards the end he fought the hardest for her and was most concerned about what her life would be without him. He did believe that she would never be able to find another man like him, I mean how could you find another man as perfect as Gary, but wanted her to enjoy her life and live it to its fullest. Rest assured he loved her and it was her that he choose to be with till the end of his days. However, there was one thing that he did say that he wants her to do. He wants her to go to a casino and play $25 dollars on 27 red at one shot or place a $100 bet on one hand of blackjack--- without gridging her teeth. Impossible!

So where do we go from here. I think if Larry, Mark and I learned anything from dad, it is the importance and power of community, friends and family. Eventually, you might forget some nuances about Gary, some things that he said or actions that he had taken, but I don’t think we will ever forget how he made us feel.

Dad, please know that not only do I love you, I’ve come to like you, trust you and respect the man you were and will carry in me the life lessons you have so generously taught me. G-dspeed and safe journey.

2006-03-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

What a difficult day, but with the support, love and caring of a wonderful community and great group of friends and family, we got through it just that much easier. Our family can never begin to express how much you have meant to us.

Our plans have changed a bit, we will now be attending Kadish services at Chisuk Emuna synogague at 6:45 am and then again at 7:15pm.

2006-03-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

Information about the funeral and services tomorrow...

Sunday at 12:30PM services will be held at Kesher Israel Synongague at 2500 North 3rd Street, across from polyclinic hospital. Following the services will be a procession to Kesher Israel cemetary. Directly after the funeral we are asking for just family and out of town guests to come back to the house. All other friends are invited to come to the house starting at 7pm Sunday night. The family will be sitting Shiva thru Thursday during the following hours: 1 to 5pm and then from 7 to 9 pm at Charlotte's home.

We will be attending minion at Chisuk Emuna 6:45am and then again at 7:15pm.

Jeff

2006-03-17T16:45:00.000-05:00

Gary & Charlotte - Bar Harbor, Maine, 2004

2006-03-17T11:34:00.000-05:00

Gary pased away this morning at 10:58 with Charlotte and the family at his side. Everyone is so thankful for the thoughts, prayers, and concern by everyone who was keeping him in their hearts.

The funeral will be at 12:30 on Sunday, March 19th at Kesher Israel, 2500 N. 3rd Street. Burial procession to follow immediately to Kesher Isreal Cemetary.

2006-03-17T07:35:00.000-05:00

While Gary is currently still alive, the hospital did need to remove his ventilation tube due to complications. They have a temporary tube in for the short term until the family can be with Gary. Charlotte and Larry are on their way. Mark, Beau and I will be driving in as soon as possible.

Most likely the funeral will be held this Sunday (but Monday is a possibility). We are talking about having it at Kesher Israel Synagogue, then going to KI cemetary, but we will let you know for sure and include times and addresses. As we expect a large number of people, car pooling is a good idea.

Until Gary actually passes, please no calls or visits.

2006-03-16T20:28:00.000-05:00

Thursday evening..

Gary continues to be resting and heavily sedated. Tomorrow Gary's family will be together at the hospital, surrounding the man who has given and taught us so much as we remove the ventilator. We can only hope to comfort him and surround him with love and support.

It has become even more evident to us how much Gary is loved and supported in the community and how strong people feel about him and our family. We truly thank you for that, more than words can ever say. Only immediate family will be able to be with Gary tonight and tomorrow and we thank all of you who have respected our wishes over these past weeks. We hope that you can at least use this website to share your stories, thoughts, and feelings.

As we move on over the next hours, we will keep you posted and share the next steps with you.

Jeff

2006-03-16T14:33:00.000-05:00

While Gary is stable now, around 12 noon he did go into congestive heart failure. They have him on morphine and resting. They have taken the IV's out as its too much strain on his system and have given Lasix to get fluid out of his system, which they have been able to do so. The hospital will try to maintain him until tomorrow when the family can be together with Gary.

We will keep you informed of all arrangements as we get to them.

At this time, please limit phone calls to the house or Charlotte, but please continue to use this site to share anything you would like.

Jeff

2006-03-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

Thursday Morning...

They tried to wean dad off of the ventilator and again he was unable to breath on his own.

As we go through the next few days, please know that Gary is in absolutely no pain, he is resting and breathing comfortably, and is basically sleeping. He has never really suffered during this entire process. Friday night and Saturday, Gary's immediate family will all be together with him as we figure out the next steps.

Jeff

2006-03-15T19:56:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night...

Gary continues to 'rest comfortably'. We will try again tomorrow to see how he does without the ventilator.

2006-03-15T10:31:00.000-05:00

Wednesday morning...

Again they tried to take Gary off of the breathing tube and again he was unable to breath on his own, so back on he went. They did say that he needs more blood and will try again tomorrow.

Jeff

2006-03-14T20:24:00.000-05:00

Good evening to all. Your thoughts, prayers and support have been overwhelming! It really gives me the desire to want to move back to Harrisburg. The love and support is incredibly encouraging at a time like this. I really want everyone to know how much it means to myself and my family. I would tell everyone not to give up hope, but its really evident that no one will. The love and support will be forever remembered. I truly believe it is making a difference in my fathers fight to survive. He truly loves every one of you, and counts every one of you as family. Wishing everyone a peaceful night. Love.......................Mark

2006-03-14T10:20:00.000-05:00

Tuesday - 10am.

They tried again to remove the ventilator today but Gary was unable to breath on his own so back on it went. They will continue to keep him on the ventilator today, and allow him to get rest, so he will be knocked out all day. They have added protein and fats in his IV to build strength and have cleared out a lot more out of his lungs.

Most likely there will be little to add until tomorrow morning around this time.

Mom would like to tell everyone that she is so appreciative of all the support and love that is out there for her, Gary, and the family, but is unable to respond to emails and calls. I know we are all concerned about her and how she is holding up, but rest assured, she does have supports with her.

Jeff

2006-03-14T09:07:00.000-05:00

Tuesday 9am.

Charlotte spoke to the hospital this am and found that dad had a 'restful night'. They are keeping him fully sedated until sometime this morning when they will again try to take him off of the ventilator.

If you are going to send your wishes, thoughts, prayers, etc, towards Gary this morning would be a good day to do so.

I'll post as soon as we know what happened.

Jeff

2006-03-13T18:18:00.000-05:00

I have it on good authority that Charlotte has been eating in case anyone is worried.

2006-03-13T15:40:00.000-05:00

Monday at 4pm...

Gary is still "resting comfortably". They cleared lots of crap out of his lungs and they will try again tomorrow to wean him off of the ventilator. If he cannot get off the ventilator in another day or so, he will probably be taken off regardless.

If Gary is still the same this evening, I probably won't post until tomorrow.

Jeff

2006-03-13T11:27:00.000-05:00

Monday 11:30am.

They did try to wean Gary off of the ventilator for about 15 minutes but his breathing was too labored and he had to go back on. They did say that there was a slight improvement in his right lung so they want to keep him on the ventilator for another day and try to get more of the stuff out of him. So today he should remain out of it, again 'resting comfortably' and we try again tomorrow.

Jeff

2006-03-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

Monday morning...

Dad was heavily sedated and out of it, or "rested comfortably" throughout the night. Currently we do not know the plan for today as to whether the tube will be coming out or remain for another day.

Beau and I returned to NY and can update this site as info comes in throughout the day. Larry is with Mom today as are other relatives. We are making sure mom gets plenty of support and is not alone.

The posting from Erin about her car and what dad said all put a smile on our faces as we could totally hear him saying that. If others can post stories or interactions with Gary that get to his personality and character it would be appreciated as it keeps us connected to the Gary we all know and love and helps. Thanks, Jeff.

2006-03-12T15:44:00.000-05:00

Sunday afternoon...

Gary was having a lot of difficulty breathing today and so it was decided to put the ventilator back in and do a bronchoscopy which will clear out lots of the muscus and secretions. They did this procedure around 2pm and right now Gary is resting comfortably, not breathing as hard, and the muscus and back up is begin suctioned out. They will keep this in until at least tomorrow and determine then what needs to be done. The chest tube will remain in indefinitely until he is stable.

Jeff

2006-03-12T08:07:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning...

We have stepped into the new century and have set up email accounts for both Larry and Charlotte. For those who are interested in directly emailing anyone of us, we can be reached at:

Charlotte: bubbiechar@gmail.com
Larry: Larspitz@gmail.com
Mark: Maxeridean@aol.com
Jeff: jspitz@gmail.com

We will not be checking Gary's email much, so it would be better to use one of these.

Last night they kept Gary sedated and he woke periodically aggitated and panicky, but was able to rest. He continues to have a lot of secretions that he is unable to get up and out so they are suctioning him quite a bit.

Jeff

2006-03-11T20:55:00.000-05:00

Saturday evening...

Gary was out the entire day and was kept heavily sedated, he "woke" only when the nurses came in to poke and to prode and was unable to recognize anyone, that's the power of morphine and other good medication, he continues to receive anti anxiety meds.

Earlier this am Dad tried to pull out his catheter (most likely trying to play with his schmeckel. Most of you might know he enjoys playing with his putz and now all of you do) so there was a lot of blood in the little amount of urine that he was able to produce. We are also still seeing fluids in the tube that goes from his lungs, not so much blood, but still not a good sign that fluids is in there. Regardless the tube comes out on Monday as it has been 5 days since the procedure and its time. He had a lot of secretion that needed to be suctioned out and received treatment every 20 minutes or so and his breathing was labored throughout the day. The hospital just wanted to keep him out today to get some rest and hopefully build up some strength.

Tomorrow they plan on reducing the morphine and have him awake to see how he is doing and we will of course keep you posted.

Thanks to the many people who volunteered or supplied a person to clean the house.

We know that many of you want to grab some time with Gary and get to see him, but we simply are not there, plus the docs and nurses have severly cut back the amount of people who can be in his room, including family.

Until tomorrow. Jeff

2006-03-11T12:48:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning -
Gary had a rough night last night with fitfull bouts of sleep throughout. By the time Paula had gotten in to him this morning, he was just wiped out. The nurses bumped him with some morphine so when we got there this morning, he had been asleep for a solid two hours. We chose not to wake him, instead letting him get the rest he needs. We also got him some anti-anxiety meds to help dull the edges of his days a bit. He seems to breathe better when he's dozing but fights and labors when he's awake.

There is a lot of hand-holding and Charlotte has been reading everyone's comments, letters, and cards to him. Even the sports section recounting Zack's championship game win from last night made it on Gary's reading list today. Anyone who knows the Spitz's knows where there is one, there are ten more following. Gary's doctors have finally asked to stem the flow of family down to just two at a time and only for a few minutes each to give him a chance to rest and not get aggitated. The housekeeper walked into the ICU waiting room this morning, looked at all of us, thought it looked like we were getting ready for a big poker game and wanted to know what the buy-in was. We all laughed because we knew that Gary would love the idea of a hot card game going on while we all keep vigil.

2006-03-11T09:31:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning..

Reports from last night tell us that Gary had a real rough night, when we woke he would become extremely aggitated and scared. Currently he is resting comfortably, but we are going to have to continue to limit the amount of people in the room and the amount of time. We are going to explore anti-anxiety medications (for both Charlotte and Gary, maybe we will get a family discount).

Questions for you... As we are spending the majority of the days at the hospital some household duties are following by the wasteside, which by the way would drive Gary crazy, but we were wondering if anyone has a person that cleans houses that we could use short term. Also, we need a good plumber and exterminator. Thanks.

2006-03-10T21:35:00.000-05:00

SUSQUEHANNA WINS AND ZACH IS THE LEAD SCORER!!!

Zach and his team win the first of hopefully 5 games for state championship. Zach played his heart out. Gary will be so proud when he hears.

Dad finished the day a bit better than he started. He did a lot of sleeping in the beginning part of the day and finished being awake a little more, but also not being able to get in a comfortable position. Although Beau gave him a foot rub that he moaned and groaned all the way thru, this was a good thing, as you may know Gary LOVES foot rubs.

Dad ended by not wanting Charlotte or us to leave, but g-d bless morphine and its ability to calm him down.

Until tomorrow. Jeff

2006-03-10T16:18:00.000-05:00

Friday afternoon...

Gary started the day a bit aggitated and they raised his morphine doseage to 4mgs. He was able to stay calm the rest of the day and has not needed any more morphine. He has been sleeping most of the day and from time to time would wake. When he does wake he does recognize people and can say about one or two words, but then is pretty much out and goes back to sleep.

Gary's kidneys are not really producing much urine and the hospital wants to limit the amount of lasix they give as they don't want the build up in his body, as that will make it harder to breath. His breathing is definitely labored and is taking a lot out of him.

We did meet with the pulminologist and have decided that there will be no more ventilation tubes going in, if needed, and that we will let it be up to nature.

Jeff

2006-03-10T07:27:00.000-05:00

Friday morning...

Just checking in. No real news to report from overnight. Today we continue our new and much hated routine of getting up and going to the hospital where we will spend the day with Gary. However, we do have something special tonight. As you may or may not know, Zachary (Gary's oldest Grandson- Larry's son) is quite the basketball player and his team had won the district championship and now they are off to states. Tonight is there first tournament game and, provided all is well on the Gary front, we will be going to support our Zach. Dad has always been so proud of what Zach has been able to achieve on the basketball court and so badly wishes he could be there to yell out at a ref or get kicked out of another game, but most importantly to see his grandson in action.

(Background story: Dad was at a game just about a year ago when a ref made a call against his Zach where he was fouled and kicked out of the game. So Gary, and get ready for this as you might not believe it coming from Gary, got up and started yelling at the ref. The ref looked over to Gary who was now yelling louder and puffing his chest and said, "You're out of here!!" Security then escorted him out of the building. Dad recalls hearing cheers from the stands, mom recalls grabbing the coats and trying to quietly slip out behind them. We believe it was the first time in history that a grandfather/grandson got ejected from the same game. We are so proud.)

Gary's sister and bro-in-law and cousins Joyce and Mort, all made it in yesterday and got an opportunity to spend some time. It meant so much to dad to see them.

As a reminder, please no visitors. However, these comments and the cards we have been receiving continue to blow us away and, be assured, Gary is feeling your love.

Until next blog.. Jeff

2006-03-09T23:25:00.000-05:00

Rollercoaster is definetely the best word to describe what we are on right now. The only thing I know, is that if anyone can beat this thing, Gary is the one! I cannot tell you how encouraging your words and prayers are to us during this most difficult time. We truly feel blessed to have so many wonderful family and friends supporting us every step of the way. Please stay strong with and for us. We really need everyone's support right now. Lets all pray for some more progress as we continue this fight. Good night to all. Love........Mark

2006-03-09T21:34:00.000-05:00

End of day Thursday...

Gary had the ventilator removed today and was able to breath on his own. While his breathing was labored, his day was pretty restful. Towards the end of the day he became tired and aggitated. They did put him on morphine to help him relax. It did become apparent that only one or two people can be in the room at one time, otherwise it becomes too much stimuli. Gary was responsive, able to recognize people and to tell Charlotte to stop trying to help. Gary would lift up his hand, as if to signal 'enough'. I then interpreted by saying, "Dad, do you want Charlotte to leave you the fuck alone?" He was able to shake his head yes. There still is some Gary in there.

Today was a good day, Gary is still here. Until we post tomorrow, sweet dreams to all...

Jeff

2006-03-09T11:30:00.000-05:00

Thursday morning update -
Gary was taken off the ventilator as planned this morning and seems to be breathing well on his own. He's still mildly sedated and rather agitated from the tubes so there is a lot of hand-holding going on. It's a delicate balance between making him comfortable and giving him too much medication to keep him relaxed because of the impact on his breathing.

Nothing new to report on his prognosis other than we're waiting for the pathology results from the biopsies done from his pleurectomy on Tuesday. Everyone is in a wait-and-see pattern with Gary, taking it day by day, hoping for him to bounce back to his pre-chest tube status so we can start to force feed him greasy burgers and fries again.

2006-03-09T08:54:00.000-05:00

Just to check in... No news from last night as of yet. We will be heading off to the hospital in just a bit. Gary's sister and brother-in-law, Annie and Lester, are coming in today. Also, we have Gar's cousins from Detroit, Joyce and Mort, also coming in today.

Today's an important day and will pretty much tell us what the future holds for us, so send us all you positive thoughts, help old people across the street, let some schmuck cut in front you in line somewhere and not get angry, and most important tell someone you care about that you love them.

Jeff

2006-03-08T21:59:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night...

It's 10 pm and we are just returning from the hospital. Beau and I came into town today after receiving the phone call earlier from mom. When we got to the hospital we found dad on the ventilator, heavily sedated and out of it.

The doctors in the morning gave a shitty (sorry for the profanity) diagnosis with very limited time. Dr. Goldman is a bit more optimistic. To say the least the rollercoaster ride today has not been fun.

Basically what we know is that tomorrow sometime they will start weaning dad off of the ventilator. If he responds, we take the next steps. If he doesn't respond then we talked about putting the ventilator back in to see if we have other options, this is provided that Dad is stable, not in pain, and can benefit from further options. He is in a critical state and we simply will have to take it one step at a time, even one second at a time.

As Beau and I are in town, we will plan to post first thing in the morning then when we get home, which is probably around this time tomorrow night. Keep writing, it is wonderful to see and it is touching mom very deeply.

2006-03-08T10:46:00.000-05:00

Doctors have told us that he is very very sick and cancer is wide spread. He will remain on the ventilator for perhaps another day or so. He is comfortable and is relatively little pain. The family will be with Gary at the hospital but no other visitors please. These are the days for us to say our final thoughts and messages.

As lots of people have been reflecting on Gary over the past few days and weeks, lets use this website to share our fond memories and stories so we can all take comfort in one another's love for a man who has given so much to so many.

2006-03-08T08:27:00.000-05:00

I spoke with Charlotte this morning who is getting ready to head to the hospital. Gary remains on the ventilator, sedated, giving him a chance to rest and recouperate and in the ICU. We assume he'll remain sedated throughout today and maybe tomorrow and stay hospitalized for the foreseable future. Charlotte feels this rest is about first Gary has gotten in the last three weeks and is feeling positive about his current care.

As always, Charlotte and the family are blown away but the love and support everyone has shown. She's overwhelmed each day to come home and find the cards, letters, and comments left on this site, wishing Gary well and sending thoughts and prayers. It is definitely these kinds of things that move the days forward for everyone.

2006-03-07T18:10:00.000-05:00

As you can imagine Gary is very tired. When I spoke to him today, he told me he did not sleep as much as 5 minutes last night. Your visits are extremely important to my father and as soon as he can take visitors again, we will let you know. Your outpouring of love and support has proven to lift our entire families spirits, and we will forever be grateful for your love and support. I have always been told that what goes around comes around, and this is a prime example of that theory. My father has given to his family, friends and community his whole life and now it is payback time! Please keep my father in your prayers, and please keep showing him the support and love that he so greatly deserves! I love you all.............Mark

2006-03-07T16:53:00.000-05:00

So as you may have imagined, while in the procedure Gary's pressure did drop, his breathing became more labor intensive and his body became exhaused (the word crashed was used) so they put him on a ventilator to help him rest, breathe and recover. The doctors sounded optimistic about this and stated that he is where they wanted him to be, they want him to sleep, rest and be comfortable. They plan on keeping him on the ventilator until tomorrow and let him have a relaxing night and let the machine do most of the work.

As was mentioned in the last post, his right lung is totally infected with cancer but the tube is back in (as planned) and will help drain the fluid and keep any more fluid from leaking.

The doctors are now saying that he has to build up his strength before he can go home, whether that he stays in the hospital or goes to the Jewish Home for rehab.

As always, more to come.

2006-03-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

Not a good day...

Gary went down for his procedure this am around 10 and we just heard (3:30pm) that he in ICU and is on a ventilator (breathing machine). The ventilator is to help him breath easier and rest. He really hasn't slept well in the past few weeks, so this should help and also help build up some strength.

They did say that the procedure itself went well but that is right lung is riddled with cancer. We will still have a lot to figure out about this, but we will take it one step at a time right now.

Larry and Paula are at the hospital currently with mom and thanks to Charlene Bloom who jumped in the car to be with mom while she was waiting for them to arrive. We had been so focused on limiting visitors for Gary that we put aside mom's need for support. Mark is on his way in to town.

When Gary came back up to the room a nurse told mom that he was all pooped out. Her response was, thank goodness he hasn't pooped in 5 days, he must be feeling better about that. (It's still important to keep a sense of humor, especially when dealing with Gary).

Again, hang back from going to the hospital, but maybe a few of Mom's friends can be on call to go to the hospital should one of the boys or Paula not be there.

2006-03-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

Tuesday Morning..

Last night was a rough night for Gary, had little to no sleep and coughing a lot. This morning he reported feeling weak. They did start to put protein in his IV as he is just not eating enough, even with Charlotte's constant encouragement.

Dad was taken down to get his procedure this am, around 10am and it should last for about a hour. They will also take some xrays while down there. When we get the results/outcome, I'll be back to post.

2006-03-06T19:15:00.000-05:00

Monday evening...

Gary saw lots of friends coming thru today, which was definitely appreciated. By the end of the day, he was wiped out, but he did get a chance to sit up today, the first time in about 2 weeks.

Tomorrow he will be having a procedure done and will be in and out of the room. We are asking that you hold off on visiting Gary until further notice, as we are expecting him to be running a temperature and feeling out of it. Over the next few days the tube will be back in until Thursday or Friday. Once the tube comes out they can run their tests and hopefully give us more information. The plan would be to discharge him right after the tube is removed and tests are taken, as early as Friday, fingers crossed. He already has his first appointment scheduled with the oncologist on Monday.

Please keep in mind that after 3pm, Gary really gets wiped out and its tougher for him to receive visitors and phone calls and by 6pm forget about it. He just asked me to let you know that your wishes, love and concern has really touched him and is really appreciating this. He has been enjoying hearing from you, especially through this comment function, so keep them coming.

Until tomorrow. Thanks again

2006-03-06T11:01:00.000-05:00

Monday Morning -
I spoke with Gary on the phone this morning just to check in. He sounds good but said he'd had a rough night with lots of interuptions and not too much sleep. The doctors all rounded this morning and didn't report anything new so it seems like Gary is still on track to have the chest tube removed tomorrow, the lung sealed, then the tube reinserted for another five days. This will move him closer to getting the rest of his scans so there is a better determination of exactly the extent of the disease, paving the way for his treatment options and care.
Gary's been encouraged to eat anything and everything he can. I get the impression there is a constant stream of really good, mouth-watering fast-food being brought in so anyone who is stopping in for a visit, if you want to give Charlotte a call and see if they can bring in a greasy burger, please do so.

2006-03-05T16:25:00.000-05:00

Sunday-

Gary is doing well today and has begun getting some visitors. It is really helping to keep the visits short and in the early part of the day, as they do tire him out, but he is really appreciating them and you can see him perk up as his friends and family walk in the room.

He continues to have the fluid around his lung being drained, but the amount is slowing down and there is less blood than before. The doctors will keep the tube in until Tuesday and then will perform a procedure where they will temporarily remove the tube, scrub down the area to cause some abrasions and then put talcum powder in the area, which believe it or not, will act like a cement and help prevent fluid from returning. They will then put the tube back in him for another 5 days and hopefully be able to run more scans and tests to get a better picture of where the cancer is originating from, and how aggressive it is. We are hoping for this information by the end of this week.

His doctors want him to eat to gain his strength, yet he really has little appetite. You can imagine that upon hearing that Gary needs to eat, this has fueled Charlotte's inner Jewish mother and her mission is to feed him. There couldn't have been a better thing for her to have to do and focus on.

Keep him in your wishes, he has commented on how important this is for him and how much he appreciates it.

2006-03-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

Friends and Family, we have created this website to give regular updates on how Gary is doing. We know you all care so deeply about him and want to know how he is doing, so we believe this is the best way to get the word out to all. We will try to update this daily. You can also add your comments and we will get them to Gary.

To fill you in, Gary has been diagnosed with lung cancer. He has a series of tests coming up this week to determine where exactly it is coming from, how fast it is moving, and what type of treatment is available to him. Your prayers and wishes mean alot to Gary and the family, so keep them coming.

We feel that it is time to start visiting Gary at the hospital, but ask that you keep your visits very short (5 or so minutes) and earlier in the day is better, as he gets tired easily as the day goes on.